Thursday, March 17, 2011

A night in the life of Emmett the Nugget and his sad, sad mother

No one should blog at 1am while they're baby has been screaming for an hour after having recently taken an Ambien, most especially me. But, as you'll see from my FB posts I threw in here, I just couldn't leave this glorious and joyful night undocumented.
Here it is, starting at around 12:30ish:

Is there anything suckier than listening to your baby cry themselves to sleep? The sleeping part hasn't happened yet and I just want to cave, but I know this is what he needs. ARGH.
16 minutes ago ·
and the longer I sit here, the more Cadbury Mini Eggs I stress-eat. Dang you Cadbury. Dang you.
14 minutes ago

And now of course, the little stinker is asleep, and I'm all kinds of keyed from chocolate overconsumption and stress and will probably not sleep at all tonight.
14 minutes ago

Keyed UP I meant to say. Oh for the love.
And...I lied. Back to screaming. I love my life I love my life I love my life. Sorry for the running commentary, but this night of fun must be documented.
9 minutes ago

And starting here is where I decided to give FB a rest (my junior high math teacher probably doesn't care much about this. I'm only speculating? Maybe she does):

1:06 - Intermittent yelping. Sort of like the sound a car turning over. RRrrrrrrrraaaaaaarr. Rrrrrrraaaaaaar. OK that is not even CLOSE to what he sounds like.

1:08 - Giant scream/squawk/bark/snort, and....silence.
1:08 - I spent 60 seconds of that time trying every way I could think to spell squawk before I gave up and looked it up.
1:11 - Still silent.
1:21 - Still silent. Have I subdued the beast for good? Gads I hope so, but seriously, I am totally wide awake now. I may be typing incoherent nonsense, but hey - it is ALERT incoherent nonsense. Funny how it's now 1:23 because I had to spend so much time thinking about how to spell all those big words.
1:23 - So. I managed to put down the bag of mini-eggs (yeah me), and I've already played like 5 games of Mah-Jong. Online shopping?

1:28 - I have enough wits to realize that making any purchasing decisions in my present state has never produced positive results. Although...that's not strictly true. My Super Slim Shaper, which is the best little fat sucking number I've ever tried, was purchased at just such a moment. Who knows what glorious things could show up on my door in a few days?
1:30 - I wonder if tomorrow I will blame Ammon for eating such a huge amount of Mini-Eggs. Probably. And I will read this post and be heartily embarrassed. But right now it's just fun to see how long it takes me to fix all my spelling errors with my eyes crossed.
1:31 - Bless the child he is still asleep. Shoot though - I just saw a lot of head movement in the monitor. Yes, we have a video monitor, but it was really cheap and Emmett looks kind of like a fuzzy turtle on it.
1:33 - Why am I sitting here in the dark? It's not like the 'lektricty quits working at our house after 10pm. OK now I am just blathering about absolutely nothing. And starting to write in the same voice as a character from one of the books I'm reading.
Shoot damn. I best get m'sef on up to bed.
Now I have really lost it. I'm sorry you had to witness this, you mysterious intrepid readers. I'm not necessarily going to bed, but I really think this post needs to end.
Goodnight! and hopefully you have a laugh at my expense tomorrow! Today! St Paddy's Day!


Jen said...

No longer a mysterious reader, I was waiting for your post. I'm sorry it was this that brought it on. Have courage, as you know the little darlings (usually) don't keep screaming at night beyond the first 4 years. (I put a nice old age just to be safe).

Melissa said...

Just venturing a guess here... were you by chance reading Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter during all of this...?

Wow. What a documentary. Someday, maybe just maybe, you'll be glad you captured it. But I'm living in the same bad dream some nights, and would really rather it be a distant memory.

You really should blog more. 'Tis good stuff.

The Haley Family said...

You are so funny! I remember those days! Hope he is sleeping through the night for you now!!