Monday, January 14, 2008

Beware of what lives on...

Dear Cassy,

I'm really sorry if this is hard for you to understand, but I've felt for a long time now that this picture shouldn't be kept from the world any longer. You hair is teased too well, your lace too voluminous, and your pumps too ivory to be hidden.
Our nation must be reminded of the beliefs we once clung to (and the dyed-to-match shoe craze) that we have struggled so long and hard to overcome. We must never forget!!

Thank you for no longer dressing like a crazed Aquanet-huffing lunatic. The post 80's world thanks you as well.

Your loving sister,


P.S. It is to your credit that even with this absolute crackfest of an outfit, you still look adorable.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

When a problem comes along, you must whip it.

80's Dance Party Sum-up:
For future reference, I know now to have our next 80's party well into February to avoid post holiday travel and excessive vomiting. I got a teensy bit freaked out right beforehand because so many people ended up having to cancel due to the sicklies, BUT...those that were still able to come made this party AWESOME. Thanks dudes (I can't say that without wanting to gag myself with a spoon)! And I must say, I outdid even myself on the decor. I think the framed photo of Princess Di & Chuck really added something special. I just love having a party with people that love being a retard for the evening as much as I do. Truly - there is something very liberating about throwing your dignity out the window and belting "Straight Up" as loud as you can. And wearing neon. Also supremely liberating.

Along with many hundreds of other great plans I had, I neglected to give out awards at our little fete, so here they are...

LEAD VOCALS: Mark V. (Risky Business) for his stunning sounds on, well basically every song, but specifically "Take On Me" by A-Ha. That high note is a doozy.

BUTT BARING DARING: Ashley Cox (Jane Fonda) for having more guts than a Thanksgiving turkey. Seriously - check out the slideshow.

FLASHDANCE: Rachel Anderson (pink sweatshirt and headband - always in mid-complicated dance move). I have never in my life seen a pregnant girl shake her money maker like this. I wish I'd had a bucket of water ready.

TOO COLD: This award goes out to Jared C. for not only the outstanding and totally useless ability to remember so many lyrics written (or maybe just sung, no...rapped, er...spoken) by Vanilla Ice, but for adding the appropriate moves and attitude to go with. Honorable mention to Spencer Anderson for equal willingness to humiliate oneself. Yo,

V.I.P. HUMILIATION NATION: Since both Mark and Ashley already have awards, this has to go to Anya Crace for sporting a pair of jeans that should never, under any circumstances, be forced on human eyes. My retinas are still burning. 2nd place for Most Hideous Pants goes to Andy Eldridge for those cotton hammer pants. Again...needles-in-eyes.

SHEER STAMINA: Meggan Hulme, who was still gyrating hours (ok not that long) after the first partiers bid us adieu.

MOST REALISTIC: If I didn't know better, I would swear that Teresa Morris still lived in the 80's because she just looked soooo....effortless. The hair! The bangs! The long sweater with kitties (or bears?)! The pegged pants! The hot pink belt! Absolute perfection.

TRIVIA NERD: Skylar. I cannot for the life of me figure out how or why one person could have such an inordinate amount of He-Man, Master of the Universe knowledge at such ready disposal.

BIGGEST NERD, BAR NONE: To Ammon, for actually googling solutions to the Rubik's Cube. During the party. While everyone else was doing karaoke.

I've run out of ideas for other awards, but the rest of you should know how much I appreciated and admired your work as well. Truly, YOU are what made this night a success. Before the party, I forced everyone into giving me pictures of themselves in those lost Wonder Years, which I made into our Wall of Shame.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

10 non sequiturs


Nuts! I just accidentally bought some shoes on Ebay. I HATE it when I do that. I know - it seems impossible, but I managed to find a way to UNINTENTIONALLY buy things.

So I am getting ready for our 80's party on Saturday night - if you want to come, the invite is on Evite!!! I'm listening to my playlist right now..."She told me her name was Billie Jean as she crossed the scene".

I swear I've had more fun getting ready for this than I will at the actual party. I found this great picture of Gorbachev, and added my artistry to reflect the mood of the decade. Hopefully everyone knows this is tongue-in-cheek.
I need ideas for our book club next year. Suggestions? It needs to be very non-yucky and offensive. I'm already going to suggest The World Is Flat (an excellent read by the way - changed the way I am thinking about the election this year), but I want some others.

("What I know is that to me you look like you're having fun..")

I just bought myself a Captain Caveman mousepad. I can't wait for it to come. It made me wonder though if anyone else would find this amusing. I'm guessing not.

("C'mon feel the noise; girls rock your boys; we'll get wild, wild, wild.")


I am STILL thinking of things to put on my 100 factoids list. Ridiculous. I either need to get a life or stop being so self absorbed. I'll (of course) happily share them upon request.

("...and girls, they wanna have fu-hun")

Warning - political views forthcoming: I have no idea who I want to vote for this year. I think I've narrowed it down to four - and please no booing and hissing about Hillary. =) I know a lot of you think she's Satan, but I think that position has already been filled by, I don't know...Giuliani? kidding. I also think Ron Paul is kind of a weirdo, but don't tell my in-laws that. lol!

I'm surprised that I'm leaning towards Obama on the Democratic side. If I were to base my decision totally on looks, it would be between Edwards and Romney, although I think Romney edges out Edwards for the more "Presidential" look. Obama is a reasonably attractive guy but his voice is too deep. I wonder what criteria the majority of Americans use in making their voting decisions?

("Straight up now tell me do you wanna love me forever?")

If any of you are dying to know, the Christmas wish list worked like a charm. I received the following items from my list:

I wore the sweater on Sunday, and the chocolates were gone in about...2 hours (thanks Mom!). I traded the red Crocs in for silver ones (thanks Ammon!). The apron was a different one and looked a little silly on me due to a certain feature of my anatomy that got in the way, but I exchanged it for some other cool stuff at Anthropologie (thanks Christian!).

("Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand; just like that river flowing through the dusty land")

Someone needs to spank Ammon for not reading my blog more often. For shame, husband! =)

("Every time I think of you I feel a shot right through with a bolt of blue")

Addy was sooooo funny the other day - she put on my Uggs, but with the toes facing backward and tried tooling around the house. What a little love. This is her cute silver New Year's dress that I am so proud of myself for finding at a secondhand store (it's Gymboree), and yes, those are my legs in leggings in the background of the 2nd pic. I'm prepping for the 80's party, and they are darn comfortable.

("Iiiiiiiiiiiiii get weak, when you look at me: weak...")

I have wasted so much time today blogging when I should've been working. Bah. I'm really hungry.

("Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon")