Who ever said that life on this planet would ever be paradise?

Anyone that knew that the title is an obscure Oingo Boingo lyric gets an extra 50 points.

I am sitting at my desk, happily (or not) trying to do my work, but am horribly distracted by the two crazies across from me speaking Dutch in extremely loud tones. Do you know what Dutch sounds like? I was going to try and mimic it but I give up. It cannot be duplicated. What makes it even more annoying is that it is a guy trying to teach our latest sacrificial newbie about a system of ours, but of course, there are no Dutch words for 95% of what they are talking about so it sounds more like this: "...Logoport blah la ble ble blah security ooofshe bloglog not user friendly anuuuu toolbar open segment translate lala iffffdahling click get match". WHY BOTHER?? and WHY IS THIS BOTHERING ME?

Is it because the new woman has eyebrows the size of small volkswagens that she very obviously takes great time and care with? My former Wells Fargo coworker suggested I leave a pair of tweezers on her desk with a note "from a friend". While this is an excellent notion, it would probably just serve to confuse her because she obviously thinks they are wonderful. She also wears excessive amounts of perfume, laughs way too loud, and generally makes me very jealous and insecure because she is new but has much more experience than me, and I'm afraid my boss will realize how truly clueless I am and fire my sad little bottom on the spot. Sigh.