Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Hey Jealousy

So. Here's the deal. I know that I am really, really blessed and I would NEVER say otherwise. I married my BFF, I have a beautiful (seriously) child, wonderful house, crazy dogs, amazing family...you get the idea.
But for some reason lately, I just feel jealous of everyone around me. Mostly I am jealous of all the stay at home moms I know because they are doing all of the things that I wish I could do, and especially the most important thing....which of course is watching Ellen everyday.
I'm kidding - obviously they are with their kids which is the bestest thing any woman could do. But...they also get to go on play dates, go to the grocery store in the middle of the day (novel idea), *gasp* clean the toilet on a regular basis, write fancy blogs, go to the zoo etc., and actually cook food. And something beyond Dino Nuggets which is Addy's main source of nutrition at present.
I don't get to do any of these things and I feel a little sad.

What is it about humans that make us never satisfied with where we are? I can't think of a ton, but I'm sure there are reasons why people would be jealous of me.

I'm also jealous of everyone back in Seattle and my friends that get to hang out together, and have somehow managed to continue life without me there! How dare they. And of course, I'm jealous of all the great people here who have all of these great friendships established and do cool things. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad we moved, and we have met some fabulous people here, but it just takes time to really feel part of...I'm not sure. A group, I guess?

Am I the only one out other who has these thoughts? Perhaps. But, I made you listen to them and that makes me feel a bit better.

OK - the vomiting of all sad thoughts has ended. It's odd too that I am writing this today, because I actually had a great day. Interesting.

Loves to all. Chaw.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry you are feeling this way...grass is always greener when it comes to staying home I think.

Hope today was as good as yesterday, despite your thoughts. :)

DJ, Angie, Amelia and Bryson said...

I am a stay at home mom now, and I wish I could get all those things done too!

Jewels said...

I used to feel this way all the time- especially when my kids were little. I've worked most of my kids' lives. I thought I'd share with you a few things I have realized for myself over the years. First, being home full time isn't all it's cracked up to be. The housework really doesn't get done like you think it will, you still have dino nuggets all the time because that's what kids like and you end up feeling guilty about it all because you're staying home and you should be able to do it all. Second, everyone has problems and you really don't want to trade yours for theirs. Some peoples lives are like ducks- seemingly very calm, but below the surface they're paddling like crazy just to stay afloat. Third, most of us MARRIED mom's that are in the workforce are here because of decisions we ourselves made at some point in our lives. Whether the decision was that we would rather work than live in a 1-bedroom apartment with hand-me-down furniture, or to go to work when our spouse didn't have a job "just to help out" and never left because we just don't have the faith (or we allow our spouses the luxury of having help supporting the family), we ultimately chose it or allowed someone else to choose it for us. Obviously there are exceptions- single mom's, ill or injured spouses, etc. but mainly it all falls back on us. I know I for one could've prevented the situation that now causes me to work full time. If I had saved instead of spent or prized staying home over having material things I could've prevented it.

So when I start feeling like someone (or everyone) else has it so much better than I do I remind myself I have some control over it.

Sorry- not trying to preach, I just wanted to share my wealth of wisdom :D haha.

Julie said...

I have often felt jealous of moms who work outside the home. I glamorize their situation and feel intimidated. When I fill out school forms I always feel a little less of a person when I write "homemaker" in the employment blank. Somehow, seeing it in writing, makes it seem like "not doing much." But, like the comment just before mine...this was my choice. I think we all have the power to choose.

Kacey said...

I'm sorry that you were feeling so sad! There are days when I wish I had a full time job outside of the home (except I would bring Lindsey of course!)Even though I am home, my toilet is not clean, my blog is not amazing and Jack's diet consists of hot dogs and dino nuggets. We are crammed into our duplex and will probably NEVER own a home in the Seattle area, but such is life. I am learning to accept things as they turn out and appreciate what I HAVE been blessed with. If it makes you feel better, we miss you dearly and we are just starting to regroup our social circle after the loss of you and the Crouches in the same summer! Take care, Micaela.

Anonymous said...

I guarantee, once you do have the chance to be home full-time, you will miss having a reason to put on real clothes in the morning and be around adults. The grass is definitely always greener!

jamie said...

i have to say, Micaela, the person i envy most at this moment is the mom that has the flexibility to stay at home AND work. That to me sounds like the best of both worlds. but like everyone says, the grass is greener on the other side and sadly, ain't that the truth?! sending my love to ya!

Ashley said...

Micaela- these thoughts only mean you are human. Who doesn't think these things. But what puts you ahead of most is your ability to recognize and appreciate the good in life. Someday, when you are home with the little darlin', you'll look back and appreciate the lessons learned in the work force and be learning differnt things at home. As for being part of a group, let's start one here in our little town :) I'll let your creative mind come up with our name :) Love ya!