Monday, February 25, 2008

Senor Oscar of the Grouchiness

I know I should have more socially conscious and/or intellectual things to discuss today, but I positively cannot resist posting the faves and freak shows from what I thought was an otherwise very boring Oscar ceremony. Except for that joke Jon Stewart made about how now that Oscar is 80 yrs old, that makes him the automatic republican party nominee. Hah! In case you didn't get that, John McCain, he means you are OLD.

Frankly though, there really weren't that many super exciting outfits to discuss either. BAH. Doesn't anyone want to make a statement anymore, a la Bjork? Alas.


(of course) HELEN MIRREN
Who always looks smashing. If I am half that hot when I'm 60 odd years...heck, if I'm half that hot NOW I'd be happy. For you doubters out there - you try pulling off red satin and see what you have to say.


(adorable French girl that won Best Actress). I looked at this for a very long time before I decided I LOVE it. Argue if you must, but I love this mermaid fish quilted craziness, and good heavens can she pull it off.


What a fab color on her. No pregnant girl should look this adorable. I think I must hate her.


Jennifer Hudson - when she was presenting I couldn't stop thinking about how great she looked, and then...I saw this picture. Suffice it to say - not the most flattering I've seen. Jennifer, hasn't anyone told you never to have a picture taken straight on? ANGLE girl! Angle.

Imagine looking at those boobs with 3-D glasses on. Oy.

FREAK SHOW. Alright that's excessive. We'll call this category NOT GOOD.

And the nominees are:


For seriously un-cute hair. And I could post at least 12 other photos of her in a tight strapless dress in a variety of colors. My favorite comment was her comparison to one of the Von Trapp sons. Priceless, and so apt.


For excessive use of jewels. Good land woman! At some point, didn't you look at yourself and think "I look a trifle sparkly for any one person. 1399 carats is just one too many". Maybe she was in a competition?

*** Disclaimer: NEVER let it be said that I don't adore and worship Heidi Klum. In my eyes, she can do no wrong. BUT, in the interest of being a fair and impartial judge, I have to put my personal feelings aside:


For a bun that is REALLY hoping for a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records. Cinnabon is jealous. On the other hand though, you have to give her credit for acknowledging that this sucker might have been a wee over the top. She was quoted as saying, "I have snacks stored up there". Oh how I love Heidi Klum.


For being just plain scary. She looks like she is very cool and avant garde and doesn't care what anyone thinks which is her shtick and to hell with all you sheep! Whatever kind of statement she is trying to make (or making a statement by NOT making a statement), she proves the point that natural is not always better. Maybe it's cool to look like a very tall androgynous young man wearing what looks to be a black velour shroud minus an arm. I don't know. I'm pretty sure I dyed my hair that color once, and it was just as frightening.

Does it make me shallow that I just spent 45 mins criticizing other people's clothes? Glass house, what?


Diana Beck McCarty said...

I actually love Renee Z's hair--just not on her and certainly not on the red carpet. It's jut to hip/sporty to be glamorous.
Sorry to say I didn't watch the Oscars but I also heard they were dang boring!

Eldrberry Grove said...

You should get a job with "E" or "People" so we can actually get an HONEST opinion on stars and their choice of appearance at these events where they don't get extra points for how much cleavage they show. ha ha ;)

Cassy said...

Love the red satin dress, and reading your comments was way more fun than it would have been to sit through 4 hours of awards for movies I didn't see. The only non-kid movie I've seen in the last year was "PS I Love You".

Anonymous said...

I loved the way Heidi Klum looked, bun and all...I didn't love the mermaid dress. But, I' glad you did!!!

I admittedly watched the Oscars...a wee long, but not too bad.

Ashley said...

HAHA- you post about the Oscar's was the best part of everything. I was kind of into the mermaid dress too. And yes, Tilda is just scary! Thanks for a fun nite!

Carli said...

I love the Oscars but I didn't have anyone to watch them with (Ken thinks they are dumb). Next year I am so calling you!! And yes, Helen was absolutely stunning, as usual.

Sassy Rachel said...

Ok so you totally nailed this one on the head...agree with it all...particularly that SCARY woman at the end with no makeup...umm hello! yikes-uh!

Erica said...

I just love the way you write. As I sit here reading this I can hear you saying it! I totally agree with you on Tilda Swinton- poor woman who has so much money and looks like that?! Doesn't anyone get paid to help these celebs look good?