Confessions of a... Dangerous mind? Mad Librarian? Wino?

In case you're wondering where the post title for today came from, just Google "confessions of a" and see what comes up. I'm not really a wino. Anymore.

Today is Wednesday Confessional Day, which I actually started 24 hours early last night at book club, but....since most of you weren't there, here are my True Confessions:

1) I am 100% addicted to Gossip Girl. Horrible, terrible, awful show with absolutely zero redeeming qualities, no moral values whatsoever, and a very skeevy guy named Chuck. And yet...I am addicted. I have even gone so far as to publicy lambast the trashfest that is Gossip Girl (at last month's book club) only to become sucked in by Satan's Show myself. I think I need an intervention. Luckily, I recently learned that I am not alone in my angst. Out of respect for her privacy, my fellow sufferer will remain nameless. Unless you bring me a Diet Coke. Then, I will tell all.

2) I drove to 3 separate fast food places at 8pm tonight in search of a Blizzard, or something like unto it. After 30 minutes and 15 miles, I now I have a serious case of heartburn. I think I totally deserve it.

3) My all time fave site has a sketchy name, but utterly hilarious content. This is where I go when I've given myself overindulgence heartburn or have a serious case of The Monday's (10 points if you got the Office Space reference). See for yourself. I think this time I may have actually laughed my face off. http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/go_fug_yourself/cat_541/

This one is pretty good too: http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/

4) Ammon opened his desk drawer last week to find not only a mouse, but MOUSE BABIES IN A NEST!!!!!! Ewwww!!!!! But the confession is that they were sort of freakishly cute and I actually shed a tear when he turned them out into the cold cold night.

5) Sometimes, I want a remote for my child, specifically one that has a mute button. We've entered the dreaded "Why Mom? But WHY? Whhhhyyyyyyy????" phase. Since I'm fresh out of kid mute buttons, I've considered inserting Q-tips on a permanent basis. I would do earplugs, but I'm still traumatized by a recent incident. I feel bad about these thoughts that I have, because it really is quite cute most of the time, especially in that adorable little girl voice. The same one that says "Pwwweeeeeeeease Mommy?" I'm a sucker for Pweese.

This is a kid who loves her swim lessons.

And her chocolate.

Quothe Rachel Zoe: "I Die".

I covet, I worship, I lust. Am I wrong for loving these boots so much I would sell a kidney? I want to hear your opinion. Hath my fashion eye run amok from overexposure to fur and feathers by watching too much Bravo?

Nothing like the smell of fresh poop in the morning

Sweet little Addy comes walking into my room this morning to wake me up...."Moooom. MOM! WAKE UP! MOOOOOOM!!!! Look at my hands!"

So, I comply and what to my wondering eyes did appear? Five tiny fingers all yucky and gross, covered in poop 1 inch from my nose.

OH yes she did. She did the dreaded Diaper Dive and then thought it would be an even more special experience if she woke me up with it. I looooooove staying at home!!!!!!!!!

Reason #2 I love being at home: Addy has given my cleavage a new name: My Pocket. Apparently, it's a pocket now that can hold all kinds of fun treasures, like food and jewelry, and last night, her sippy cup.

She decided she needed to put her sippy cup TO BED IN MY POCKET. I kid you not - she tucked it in there (very cold by the way), covered it up in her pig blanket, and patted it and told it "night night sippy!". ADORABLE!!! She makes me laugh SO HARD!! I love this kid!!

Addy learning to paint at her first Discovery Days. Thanks Diana!

Yes, that is dog food she's put on her plate. It's currently her favorite food. Oy.

This does not bode well. This is how we found her one day after a "nap".

Fireman Addy! Firewoman? Whatevs.

This is on my last day of work with a now former co-worker of mine, Tom. Tom was the only one in my office with young kids that could appreciate my fun but incessant Addy stories.