Second thing on my mind today is my other favorite guilty pleasure...Ambien. I've always known that if I hadn't the influence of church in my life, I would definitely be a rowdy crack addict rodeo clown. Or an alcoholic blackjack dealer. Or maybe a plastic surgery addict addicted to my kids' ADD meds. Either way, it would have been ugly and I would have been much more likely to be featured on Cops than I am when I host Bunko.
Thankfully, instead of pursuing a life of tawdriness, I've taken the medically safer route of being a good LDS wife, mother, sister, and primary chorister (although perhaps the latter is not always medically safe. Hmmm...) and self medicated with Nutella, Diet Coke, and Ambien instead of crack and Adderall.
Aaah Ambien. Oh how I love thee. Those who know me well know that I have a very serious love/hate relationship with sleep. I adore sleeping but loathe going to bed, which presents a conundrum...hence the Ambien. While it makes me happy and I sleep like a champ, it has had the unfortunate albeit amusing side effect of making me eat bizarre things at bizarre hours (see previous posts), which in turn has the not surprising effect of slowing turning me into a large desert warthog.
I have better hair and definitely a better shoe collection, but this does not negate my need for a diet.
Which brings me to my main point. As of today, I am officially entering Ambien detox. I've gotten myself down to only half a pill/night, but it's time to quit the juice entirely and go cold turkey. So, you can safely bet that tonight will entirely suck, and will include me weeping on the couch at 3:30am watching either infomercials (I'm putting the credit cards away as we speak), or Can't Buy Me Love for the 8th time.
Wish me luck and check back tomorrow to see how my willpower held out!