Thursday, March 09, 2006

28 weeks

So I thought that for my maiden blogging voyage it might be helpful to provide a detailed list of why I feel like my pregnant body has turned me into a toddler.

1. I randomly and violently (yes, still!) throw up - in the car, in the sink, in bed, on the bus (although that only happened once), etc.

2. I have become a pant wetter again. In my defense; only when I throw up. And NO, Kegel exercises have NOT helped so don't ask. We aren't just talking a trickle here either. It's as though my body has built an extra 4 cup capacity bladder reserved strictly for the moment I vomit.

3. I have developed cankles (calf/ankles for you unlearned ones). Sadly, these are not the cute rolly-polly cankles that babies and toddlers have, but they look more like a giant tuber starting at my cantalope sized knees that continue until they are violently cut in half by the strap on my shoes.

4. Ridiculously dumb things make me cry. For example, my husband was tired one night and didn't cuddle me after saying goodnight, which made me inexplicably (to me and him) burst into sobbing tears. Or trying to pull my pants up in the morning. Almost always guaranteed to send me into a tizzy of tears and cursing.

5. Apparently, I stink. Luckily this has not been caused by a dirty diaper, but not so luckily seems to be a new scent related to my ridiculously increased amount of sweat.

6. This once savvy shopper/high maintenance makeup fanatic now thinks of bathing and pulling on more than my housecoat as the ultimate achievement in grooming and fashion. Those who work with me will attest to this. I also HATE shopping now, which is shocking enough.

7. 95% of my meals must be prepared either by my caretaker (aka husband), or the person at Subway/McDonald's/Dairy Queen, etc.

8. I cannot put on or remove my own shoes.

9. Occasionally I can't even remember how to put on shoes.

10. When I think of something I want to eat, I want it NOW and will have hissy fits until I get it. The hissy fits are hopefully more silent in nature than a two-year old, but if you could hear what is going on in my head...

That's enough for today. As I think of more, or have more pointed out to me by my sweet, sweet husband (see # 5), I'll be sure to add them.