The New Crafty-Me

I don't know what has happened to me since I quit working over a year ago....I swear I've had a personality shift: I stopped blogging regularly, I hardly shop at all now (although that's just circumstantial I'm sure), and I've discovered I looooooove being crafty! I seriously never knew this about myself.

So the house isn't any cleaner, I don't cook any more often, but I have made some fun things over the last year...a Halloween wreath, several Advent calendars, a jute vase, pillows, Christmas yarn balls, been in a cardmaking club (which I NEVER thought I would do), decoupaged a drawer pull, spraypainted and painted almost every piece of furniture/accessory I own, hosted a Scrapbooking weekend, started digital scrapbooking, and on and on and on. Poor Ammon. Early in our marriage, he had lots of hobbies to keep himself occupied, and once told me that he wished I had some hobbies I enjoyed as well...I really don't think this was what he had in mind. =)






My latest, or at least most involved project has been making Scrabble-tile necklaces. I LOVE doing these! It's fun to look at a piece of paper and visualize what you could make out of it. They really are nothing fancy pants at all, but, I did recently display them at a craft fair, and they did quite well! Who knew??




Anywho. So now I have dozens left (because I can't do anything in small doses) with no home. OK, I really never thought I'd do this, so here goes really fast:

I'm-selling-my-cute-little-pendants-for-$5-each-they-come-with-ribbon-or-$2-extra-for-metal-chain.

That was awkward. You'd never know that I used to work in sales would you? lol. But what the heck. Maybe there is some reader out there who just can't live without a necklace, and seriously...what am I going to do with all these? =)




As you can see, I've shown a bunch of samples of ones I've made already - be gentle - our camera sucks, and my photoshopping skills are nil. I've already done several custom necklaces, so if there's a certain monogram or color you want I can do basically anything. Just comment on here if you want to buy one, or 7. They make great stocking stuffers!

Family Pics

We FINALLY had family pictures taken! This is the literally the first one we've done of all us since Addy was born. Isn't that sad? Ah well. Here they are!

This one just cracked me up. I have no clue what we're doing:

How cute is she?

My two little loves!

Halloween 2009

Alright, so I'm a month late, what can I say? I asked Addy about two months before H day what she wanted to be (big mistake - don't ask until they are at least 12), and she said a clown. I REALLY really hate clowns, so I figured this would only happen if I could make it look like something I could tolerate. So I get all crafty and excited and finished her skirt when she says....she doesn't want to be a clown anymore. Of course. Luckily, she's only 3 and very impressionable, so I told her she wasn't just a clown, she was a Clown PRINCESS. Worked like a charm. Hooray for gullible kids!

I LOVE me some Muppets!!!!

If you don't just die laughing watching this, I will never understand your sense of humor. =) Especially Animal.....this is for you, Cassy!!

I am no June.

Hello campers. Today, I would like to discuss ovens. Yes, I realize that I have not blogged in months, and this may seem like an ill chosen topic, but hey - it's my blog.

Today, for reasons that will (theoretically) be discussed in a subsequent post, I have literally been cleaning my house for TEN HOURS. I kid you not. It has taken more Diet Coke and candy corn than you can possibly conceive. Not to mention that yesterday I cleaned for...wait...what day was yesterday? I seriously cannot remember. Oh yes - Tuesday. I cleaned for 7 hours on Tues and 3 on Monday. And, I'm not done yet. Never before and never again has/will this house been/be so magnificently sparkly.
I am just so overwhelmed with self congratulatory feelings right now that I really have to share them with you. So far, I have:
Dusted, washed windows, scrubbed toilets, cleaned showers/sinks, wiped down doors and doorknobs, vacuumed, cleaned carpets (including stairs), moved furniture, killed bugs, made something crafty, scrubbed out the trash can (not kidding), wiped down windowsills, done countless loads of laudry, scrubbed Ammon's hideous lazyboy (3 times cause the first time I used too much soap and made it crunchy), wiped baseboards, stripped sheets and put up Halloween decorations. AND I'M STILL NOT DONE. I am amazing.

OK back to ovens. So, for those of you that have an oven (I assume that's most of you reading this), does it have a self cleaning feature? And do you use it regularly? What a wonderful invention. Now do any of you have a double oven? If so, does it have the self cleaning feature on the 2nd oven also? BECAUSE MINE DOES NOT AND I'M VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT IT.
In my Diet Coke induced cleaning frenzy, I was Windexing the outside of the ovens when I happened to peek inside and thought to myself "Self, good job on setting the self clean yesterday. This makes your life wonderful and complete. Now self, let's just double check the bottom oven...". I won't tell you what came out of my mouth at that moment, but it wasn't pretty, nor was the oven.
Eee gads you have never seen such a mound of disgusting yuckified grossness. Honestly, did I blow up a jar of honey and then pour 6 lbs of bacon grease on top with a halibut chaser? Cause that's what it looked like.
Anyway, the point is that it was really nasty. The oven and I did battle for over 40 minutes, at which point I threw in the towel i.e. pair of rubber gloves (that I'm kind of upset about having to chuck because I got them for free with a coupon and I'm sort of attached) and called the fight in favor of the oven. Granted, the nastiness is now confined to a 6" diameter circle in the middle rather than the entire bottom half, so I had a small measure of success. As for that 6" circle, I don't know how that goo is holding on. Either it's made of an adhesive found only in hell and in my oven, or it has actually developed it's own consciousness and is hanging on by sheer force of will. Either way, I give up and I'm going to go have some poptarts. I think I've earned them.

**Sidenote - Ammon just got home and when I told of my Battle with the Oven, here was his response: "Ummm, yeah. You are looking a little greazzzzy. You might want to go look in the mirror". Love.

Nina and Evan

I know I'm behind on blogging about my own life and my own child, but I had to post this adorable and hilarious video of my bro-in-law Evan (my sis Lindsay's husband) singing with/to my squishy niece, Nina. Enjoy!

Nina and Daddy Singing from Lindsay MacDonald on Vimeo.

I am getting OLD! Old I say!!!

OK, it's not my birthday QUITE yet (*july 16*). But, in light of the fact that I will be spending my birthday camping in a field in the wilderness of UT, and then driving 8 hours in the car with a whiny three-year old, I've decided to start my celebrating early. As in right now.
So, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! To ME! In 7 short days, I will be 33. Incidentally, it is my Mom's actual birthday today. Happy birthday Mom! Speaking of old...(*cough* 65).


I went and got birthday present #1 today, which was a lovely pedicure. Birthday present #2 will be riding the alpine slides at Park City on Sat, and birthday present #3 will be consuming as much Cafe Rio as is humanly possible in a 48 hour time period.
The only other thing that I covet and just cannot justify anymore now that I am not working, is this:



The most blessed mascara ever created. I am absolutely certain that angels mixed the mysterious ebony goop this is made of. Sadly, it is not to be. Since I am officially banned (by myself, NOT the authorities. Sheesh! Who do you think I am?) from setting foot in Nordstrom's, I can only dream of having eyelashes like Cher in her "If I Could Turn Back Time" video. Someday I'll be able to afford ridiculously expensive makeup again. Does that sound bad? Bah.

Nostalgia

I am having the WORST attack of nostalgia tonight!! I don't know where this is coming from - the fact that I'm still getting very little sleep (see previous post), or that it's summer, or what, but all of the sudden, I REALLY miss my college life. Does anyone else go through this, or is it just me? Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my family and my life. But you know. It's just different.

So, humor me and read my list of things I miss most about college life:

1. I miss sleeping in and missing my 8, or 9, or 10 o'clock class.
2. I miss eating in the cafeteria and watching my friend Amber laugh so hard that pudding came out of her nose.
3. I miss walking across campus, feeling so awesome and cool because I am a COLLEGE student and I have places to be and things to do.
4. I miss having Cassy have to walk 3 miles to my boyfriend's house at 2am because she was locked out.
5. I miss rollerblading in Provo Canyon.
6. I miss Janiece yelling at me to get off the phone.
7. I miss Janiece and Jessica fighting.
8. I miss singing at the top of my lungs in a car full of girls.
9. I miss hiking Orderville Canyon with Janiece and Jamie, and sleeping on the church lawn, and getting the sprinklers turned on at 4 am.
10. I miss rolling out of bed at noon to find Diana in the kitchen, having just rolled out of bed too.
11. I miss watering our garden in the middle of the night.
12. I miss that Outdoor Rec class I took during winter where I puked on a hike.
13. I miss getting asked out on a date by PETE my super duper dream guy.
14. I miss fighting and making up with my BFF Steve Bugby.
15. I miss spending the night outside temple square to get tickets for the solemn assembly.
16. I miss having our own Academy Awards with Brigham.
17. I miss lipstick wars with Jeff and Shannon in the day room.
18. Sorry, Ammon - but I also miss first kisses. Especially ones that happened unexpectedly, or in odd places.
19. I miss Diana's couch.
20. I miss going to classes and being SO excited by something I was learning.
21. I miss all the great spiritual experiences I had in college.
22. I miss running around the HFAC after it had closed.
23. I miss BYU mint brownies.
24. I miss Movies 8.
25. I miss cramming for a test hours before and then getting an A anyway.
26. I miss having my sister as my roommate and having her laugh at all the little daily things.
27. I miss falling asleep in the library.
28. I miss Janiece and Jessica's cooking.
29. I miss running into people I knew on campus.
30. I miss yelling at my roommates upstairs to shut up.
31. I miss awesome Utah snow.
32. I miss all the freaking delicious food there was to eat around campus.
33. I miss coming home from class, popping in a movie for 20 mins and eating cottage cheese with saltines.
34. I miss cute old Dr. Scoresby and Dr. Robinson's classes.
35. I miss talking all night with friends and wondering if we'll ever get married. =)

I'M FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I didn't want to do this post prematurely, lest you all witness "Falling Off the Wagon - Part Deux", but I think we've passed the danger zone...

You read right...I am free from drugs!!! I have officially gone 11 days with no Ambien!!!! Eleven!! I'M CURED!!!! I know this may seem like no big thang, but this is HUGE for me, and I must say, I am a proud little chicken right now. After having had to take a sleeping pill every night for just over three years now, I am mightily impressed with myself at being able to quit.

Amidst all my self congratulations, I must, however, be honest and admit that the impetus for this decision was not exclusively due to on my own indomitable self will. More like, the will of my doctor not being willing to refill my prescription and not being able to go back and see said doctor for a new one. But WHO CARES??? I am free, I am free and I don't care who knows it!!!!

Of course, I have been really tired and have been consuming vast (even for me) quantities of the DC - but all before 3pm.

***Brief but necessary shout out to DC: I love you. I could not live without you. You are my rock and my sweet, sweet nectar. You give me strength when I want to hide under the couch cushions. You give me tantalizing deliciousness when I need something to keep me from the brownies. And thank you, Ronald McDonald, for making the most mouth watering blend of Diet Coke known to man or beast.

Moving on. Sleep-wise, it's been a rough 11 days. Some nights I've not gotten to sleep until 4 or 5 am - last night it was about 1am which is a very big improvement. It's been challenging to say the least, but I'm really relieved. I starting to feel like a real person again.

Here are some of the Pro's of being off the goods:

1. I've learned that I can actually deal with less sleep than I thought I could (good to know if I ever have a baby that only nurses).
2. What they say about exercise really is true - it makes you sleep better. So hopefully one of the pro's will be a butt like Jessica Biel's. Or not.
3. Ability to remember the next day what happened on that show we watched the previous night. And to remember fact that I actually did watch said show. Or even remember that I watched TV.
4. No more random orders of Super Slim Shapers showing up in my mailbox from too much late night drugged up infomercial watching. Although - that was only in the beginning (see #2 below - the fun stuff wears off), and it was kind of fun anyway. And I LOVE my Super Slim Shaper.
5. No more nighttime Nutella binges.

Cons of being off the goods:

1. No more nighttime Nutella binges, or at least no legitimate excuses for having nighttime Nutella binges.
2. Less nighttime fun for Ammon. The goods made me slightly more....amorous. Although that was really just in the beginning (see: Addy).
3. No more using the "I can't get up in the night with Addy because I'll fall down the stairs" excuse. I actually did that once - it was only 2 stairs, but still.

Wow - I'm surprised those are the only cons I can think of. I sure loved my time on the drugs. Those were goooood times. But, it's time to move on. *Sniff*. So long, dear friend. You were a party in a pill and I will miss you and the delicious sleep I had while you were with me. Good heavens - isn't it a good thing I was raised LDS and never got into recreational drugs? That would not have been good.

Happy Birthday Armon!

It's Ammon's 32nd birthday today (NOT 33rd like I told some of our friends - I am trying to prematurely age him)!!! So, in honor of Ammon, and because I didn't get the cute little book done I am still planning on making for him, I put together a little slideshow of Ammon's formative years. Enjoy!!!



I love you, my Mythical Unicorn (don't be alarmed...it's an inside joke)! Weeee! Happy Birthday!

Babies and Babies and Babies (and licenses)

So, I don't know what in the sam blazes has been happening fertility-wise around here, but I swear to the high heavens I know 1100 babies born in the last several months, and at least another 746 on the way. It's amazing, in a good way, but in also a slightly disconcerting way. On the plus side: babies! Duh. So many yummy delicious baby rolls to squish! On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to think about either the really large coincidence it is that everyone I know seems to have kids at once, or the bizarre coordination effort that must have taken place to make this happen.
And, as you might expect, this makes my biological ticker (round 2) feel like one of those really annoying alarm clocks that just keep getting louder and louder until you get up, or throw it against the wall. No, not pregnant. Still in mortal terror of the idea, but REALLY starting to want a squishy little chunk of my own again. NOT a happy combo.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a Super Shout Out to all my new mom and expecting friends who had, or are having the following kidlets. In no particular order (thank you Samantha Harris for officially making that the most boring line ever read from a teleprompter):

Caroline Eleanor

Sophie Jaelyn

Avery Jolyne

Katherine Claire

Kaden H.

Baby Boy Peterson (on the way)

Baby Girl Savage (on the way)

Elisabeth Louise

**Edited Baby BOY Siders (on the way)

Everett Roe

Baby ??? Lay

Rhys Vezzani (Ammon's sis)

Benji Gould (Ammon's other sis)

Baby Boy Johnson (Cousin Misty)

I just have to say how utterly baffling/amazing/insane/wonderful/(insert adjective of your choice here) the things that we go through to become mothers are. Stumpy toes, cankles, fickle birth moms, lame doctors, barfing, itching, heart burn, pant wetting, and excessive belly fat to name a few. And yet, we do it! The things that motherhood inspires you to do and to become are truly incredible. So good job moms!!!

And a little side note to end this post on....I am officially a LEGAL DRIVER AGAIN!!!! Hurrah!!! My suspended (NOT revoked) license was reinstated today, so now I can drive to Rock Springs at 2am if I so choose. Aaaaaaah the freedom.

CWAZY

Oh sweet sanity. My lovely friend Anya let me dump Addy off about an hour ago before I went completely B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Poor kid. I've been saying a lot lately: "You are making me CRAZY!" (don't think I'm terrible - we are in potty training hell. I'm allowed to feel crazy), and she finally said "I so sorry Mommy. I sorry you cwazy". Oh precious little peanut.

So, I thought I'd use this blissful moment of peace and no pee messes to catch up a titch. As ever, I have way too much to say! Must compress.

First off - this was from today and was too cute. This kid wants to go to school so bad! She loves her "pack-pack" and insists on wearing it even though it's at least 11 sizes too big. Also note the fab shoes - Addy had a right of passage last week and got her feet measured at Nordstrom's where we bought her first "real" pair of athletic shoes.

Oh heck. It's 5pm and I really should go pick Addy up. Poor Anya has probably locked her in the closet by now. I'll have to continue later.

Booty

Yes, yes, I know. It's been ages since I've blogged and I have way more important things to post, BUT. I just couldn't resist telling you about this little nugget first:

A few days ago, I bought the ever so delicious treat of the double bag of Pirate's Booty at Costco (if you haven't tried this yet, you must RUN out and get some post-haste). I've been slowly enjoying a few (or maybe 26) handfuls each evening as my little nighttime snack, which considering the temptation, is pretty restrained. I've known many a health nut to consume an entire Costco size bag in one sitting.

Anyway. I've been doing pretty good on rationing my PB out, when I noticed today the bag, entirely empty, lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh CRAP", was my eloquent first thought. And then: "I've done it again. Another Ambien-addled brain run amok. I wonder if I ate the ham too...?".

Thankfully, I ate neither the bag of PB or the ham. It turns out Addy decided she needed some food storage in her room, consisting solely of Booty:

As you can see, she is extremely proud of her ingenuity, as am I. Providentliving.org would be so impressed.

I knew it.

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work! At your best: You are uninhibited, funny, and relaxed. What people like about being around you: You're friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to. What people dislike about being around you: You're a little sloppy and careless. How addicted people get to you: A fair amount, though they tend to deny it.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

It's Saturday Night Liiiiiiiiiiiive! With your host, Adeline Reese Crapo!!

I put Addy down for bed about 45 minutes ago, and everything was silent until the last 20 minutes or so when she apparently found her microphone and decided to express her feelings about bedtime over loudspeaker. So I'm sitting here surfing Craigslist, and this is the live feed of what I'm hearing:

8:41pm: "I am not going to bed anymoooooooooore!!! No more!! I won't do iiiiiiiiiiit!" sung to what sounds like the tune of Mamma Mia.
8:44pm: Yes, I was right. It was Mamma Mia. Now she is singing Mamma Mia. Not the correct lyrics of course, just the phrase over and over again in various pitches.
8:46pm: "Mommmmy. Micaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeela..."
8:47pm: Humming interrupted with violent (she's been sick all week) hacking and coughing directly into the mic. I almost wet my pants.
8:49pm: Muttering. Something about books and possibly pantyhose?
8:51pm: Strange banging. It's got to be either the microphone or her head against the bed. Hard to say.
8:56pm: Tuneless whining. Althought it does tend to go up and then back down in pitch, like a bell curve.
9:02pm: "neh neh neh neh. A BUG!!!!!!!!"
9:05pm: More bell curve whining.
9:09pm: It's been silent for 4 minutes....
9:11pm: Dang. Hacking followed by irritated mumbling. SO close.
9:13pm: Oh GADS. I think she's jumping on the bed. ******INTERVENTION FORTHCOMING. Daddy is listening at the door. Hold on - the jumping stops; Daddy moves away.
9:14pm: Silence. Perhaps Ammon's shadow was enough to quiet her down. Ah the power of intimidation.
9:15pm: Wrong again. "Mommmmy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommmmmmmy. Mommy".
9:16pm: Feet kicking. "BLEH" (hey I'm just recording what I hear).
9:21pm: Sad moaning. "Mommy!" Plaintive wailing. "Mama mommy mama!" I will be strong.
9:30pm: I caved. However, this turns out to have been the right move and she had (surprise) become uncovered from her blankets and was just too darn pooped to do anything about it. Hence the low grade whine. Anyway, she seems fine now.
9:39pm: Awwwww, sweet peace.

Addy's Room Redesign - HELP PLEASE!!

Addy's 3rd birthday is coming up on April 3 (How did this kid make it to THREE??), and for her present, we are going to upgrade her into a "Big Girl" bed and room. Here's the pickle: she is certainly an opinionated kid, but she has no idea what she wants, so she's been completely useless in helping me figure out bedding/paint/etc. This is a plus of course because I get to pick whatever I want, but...I don't know what I want either!! I want to be sure it's cute and age appropriate, but something that will also last awhile - i.e. no Hannah Montana/Disney Princesses.

I'm posting below a few ideas I've had and I'm going to open up a voting poll. PLEASE VOTE!! I need other opinions!! I mostly looked at kids stores, so if you've seen bedding somewhere else that would be cute for a little toddler muffin, PLEASE send me a pic. I'm not totally in love with anything yet, so any new ideas would be most welcome. THANKS!!!! How about for the person that manages to find me the perfect bedding, I will bake some fab cupcakes of your choice...unless you live out of state.....then you just get my air kisses. Loves!

1. OWL #1 (drawback - this one is muy expensive so I could probably only get 1 piece - probably the quilt)

2. HAWAIIAN HIBISCUS (Ammon thinks this one would be ridiculous since we live in a land locked state. Eh??? Silly man.)

3. OWL #2 (cute, but not sure I'm in love with the color palette)

4. RED HAWAIIAN (fun, but what in the heck color do you paint a room to match this???)

5. FUNKY FLOWERS (certainly intersting, but too much?)

6. BASIC POLKA DOTS (either pink or green -no more purple allowed. Too boring?)

7. GREEN STITCHING (also maybe a little dull?)

FUNNIEST. VIDEO. EVER.

ALRIGHT I CONFESS! I caved.

4 days without sleep, it turns out, is my max. I just couldn't take it. I know, I know, I am a big wuss with a drug problem, but I'm pretty okay with that. Besides - instead of feeling like I want to do this everywhere:

I look more like this (albeit slightly older):

**To clarify: this is supposed to be what wide eyed and perky looks like.

But have no fear friends, for I have a PLAN. Whenever we talked about the Plan of Salvation on my mission, either my companion or I would invariably say it in Hollywood dramatic style "THE PLAN". So anyway. My plan (in case you care), is that instead of letting myself stay up and get up at any time all willy nilly whenever I feel like it, I now have a bedtime and a wakeup time. It's like being 6 years old and in seminary all at the same time. Plus, instead of going from 5 mg of Ambien to zero, I'm going down to 2.5 mg first. That may be slightly less shocking to my system. And oh yes - I am locking the pantry after 9pm. So far, THE PLAN seems to be helping. We'll see.

And FYI - yes, I have tried hot baths/no baths/Melatonin/Valerian root/warm milk/cold milk/no food/lots of food/no Diet Coke/many Diet Cokes/reading to fall asleep/not doing anything in bed but sleep/nothing exciting after 10pm/exercise/keeping pen and paper by my bed....you get the idea. Being on Ambien is not for want of trying other things. I have, as my esteemed physician put it, serious sleep issues.

I give, I give!!!

It is almost midnight-thirty here on Day 4 of my Ambien-Free-Sleep-or-Bust marathon, and I am literally inches away from throwing in the towel. Here's how things have gone so far:

Day 1: Went to bed around 2:30, and actually went to sleep reasonably fast, and stayed asleep. Happy Day.
Day 2: Not as happy. Went to bed around 1:30 - tossed around more or less all night long.
Day 3: Not happy. Went to bed about 1, probably fell asleep about 2:30. So tired.
Day 4: Very seriously unhappy. EXHAUSTED by 8pm - bleary/red eyes, cranky pants, yada yada, but just cannot lay down until 11 - right about the time I feel like I will either fall asleep on the stairs on the way to bed or in the bathroom sink while brushing my teeth. I laid in bed until...now. What is with my mind?? It just spins and spins and thinks about primary and what color to paint Addy's room and what the annual cost of my Ambien is and did I remember to pay the water bill, etc. (answers: blue, a lot, and no).
I just cannot figure out what happens between the brushing my teeth and crawling into bed that makes my brain think that THIS is the perfect time to solve the AIDS crisis in Africa. Argh!!!

The other thing weakening my resolve (besides the obvious crippling lack of sleep) is a little tidbit I heard today from a friend....that apparently you CAN have Ambien while you are pregnant. Her friend took it every day her entire pregnancy. Come again? Que? Pardon? Wat? Oh hells bells. Why am I putting myself through this agony again?
Note - I am NOT pregnant, but may at some point in the future be willing to put myself through that again, and when such a time comes, I had planned on NOT being an addict of any variety. Ah well. The best laid plans...

Two thoughts...yes, just two.

OK, I realize that I haven't blogged in ages, and that I have much more important things to discuss (80's party recap, trip to Seattle, vowing to never have more kids, etc.), but I cannot resist sharing deep love for my favorite guilty pleasure...The Bachelor. For those of you that watched the finale last night and After the Rose #1 (#2 happens tonight), you have to admit that was some DARN GOOD TV!!! Gads I love a good crazy drama.

Second thing on my mind today is my other favorite guilty pleasure...Ambien. I've always known that if I hadn't the influence of church in my life, I would definitely be a rowdy crack addict rodeo clown. Or an alcoholic blackjack dealer. Or maybe a plastic surgery addict addicted to my kids' ADD meds. Either way, it would have been ugly and I would have been much more likely to be featured on Cops than I am when I host Bunko.

Thankfully, instead of pursuing a life of tawdriness, I've taken the medically safer route of being a good LDS wife, mother, sister, and primary chorister (although perhaps the latter is not always medically safe. Hmmm...) and self medicated with Nutella, Diet Coke, and Ambien instead of crack and Adderall.

Aaah Ambien. Oh how I love thee. Those who know me well know that I have a very serious love/hate relationship with sleep. I adore sleeping but loathe going to bed, which presents a conundrum...hence the Ambien. While it makes me happy and I sleep like a champ, it has had the unfortunate albeit amusing side effect of making me eat bizarre things at bizarre hours (see previous posts), which in turn has the not surprising effect of slowing turning me into a large desert warthog.

I have better hair and definitely a better shoe collection, but this does not negate my need for a diet.

Which brings me to my main point. As of today, I am officially entering Ambien detox. I've gotten myself down to only half a pill/night, but it's time to quit the juice entirely and go cold turkey. So, you can safely bet that tonight will entirely suck, and will include me weeping on the couch at 3:30am watching either infomercials (I'm putting the credit cards away as we speak), or Can't Buy Me Love for the 8th time.

Wish me luck and check back tomorrow to see how my willpower held out!

All things boo-ful

Time for an Addy update post. Lately, she has been really into calling things beautiful, but she can't say it right so it comes out something like "boo-ful". "Mom. The sky is SO boo-ful!". Oh it is precious. Even more precious was when she said "Mom, your boobs are so boo-ful!". Why I tell you these things, I will never know. I guess I just can't resist an overshare...but she is SERIOUSLY SO FUNNY!!!!! And I don't know what the deal is with boobs. She's been obsessed with bodies lately, specifically mine. Today she made me help her put on one of my bras when she saw me do it (and no, I am not posting pictures), and yesterday she told me that I have a squishy bum. Well that's a newsflash.

This picture is one of those moments when I should have been disciplining my child, but I was laughing too hard to do it. I gave her one of those little snack bags of tiny Oreo's, and when I asked her if I could have one, she shouted NO!! and stuffed every last one into her mouth before I could get one. Do not get between this kid and her Oreo's.

Last Friday, a bunch of us took our kids to a puppet show theater in Denver and they had a ball. Word to the wise for adults though...if you absolutely HAVE to take your kids to a puppet show, be sure to bring either some headphones, a blindfold, or some Xanax. The kids loved it, but that was probably the most excruciating 45 minutes of my life. I would honestly have preferred a root canal. But, since this wasn't all about me, it was great.

***18 hours to go.

20 Days Down; 16 To Go. Pray For Me.

So long, doggles.

Note: I wrote this a few days ago - don't be afraid - I'm not still crying.

I have cried more times in the last week than I care to count! Not because I didn't get a subscription to People as requested for Christmas, but because we just shipped our dogs off to Seattle to have a new life. Hopefully, I'll have a new life too now - one free of allergies and dog poop in the backyard (or office) to clean up.

Thank heavens we have found the best possible home for our spastic beasts. Our good friends from Seattle, Trent & Celeste Lay, were brave enough to take them in. We shipped them off on New Year's Eve on United Cargo (and may I just say how weird it is to ship dogs?), they arrived intact and seem to be adjusting well to a new house, and a cat. Thank the stars! It makes this whole thing a lot easier to know they are in a great home.
I really miss them, but my asthma is slooooowly starting to get better, so I know this was the best thing to do. At least I get to visit them in Feb!

Things I will miss most about Idgie and Lucy (*sniff*):
1. Lucy curling up in my knee pit when I lie on the couch, and Idgie laying on my side. This always made for deliciously warm and snuggly TV sessions.
2. Lucy imitating a hoover and making herself gag from eating too fast.
3. Idgie jumping high enough to take bites out of Addy's 1st birthday cake, one small nibble at a time.
4. How they loved to do "den howls" with us if we let them.
5. How freaking fast they are! Especially running circles. Amazing.
6. Watching Idgie run from behind - she always looked a wee bit sideways, like her butt was just heavier on one side.
7. Dressing them up! They've been: hula dancers, 80's girls, pretty pretty princesses, Santa's, and tolerated (barely) a variety of coats, jackets, necklaces, and shirts. Yes, I am that cruel.
8. The way Idgie groans when she's comfortable.
9. The vomit noises that are not actually vomit that horrify everyone else, but make us die laughing.
10. How Idgie, the 10 lb wonder, has a bladder the size of Kansas reserved strictly for marking each and every bush we walk by.
11. Lucy "marking" anyone's neck that happened to be in any semi-recumbent position. Still one of the most bizarre but hilarious things I've ever seen.
12. How much they loved Addy and how much Addy loved them.
13. How utterly thrilled they were to see us everytime we came home. I really miss that.

I think I better NOT go see Marley & Me yet.

One Word Tag...

1. Where is your cell phone? Unknown
2. Where is your significant other? Downstairs
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? Energetic
5. Your father? Great
6. Your favorite thing? Ambien
7. Your dream last night? Bananas
8. Your dream/goal? Peace
9. The room you're in? Office
10. Your hobby? Games (currently)
11. Your fear? Loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here
13. Where were you last night? Here
14. What you're not? Frugal
15. Something on your wish list? Wii
16. Where you grew up? Seattle
17. The last thing you did? Eat
18. What are you wearing? Pants
19. Your TV? On
20. Your pet? Gone!
21. Your computer? Eh
22. Your mood? Wheezy
23. Missing someone? Always
24. Your car? Hideous
25. Something you're not wearing? Tiara
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your summer? Fine
28. Love someone? Definitely
29. Your favorite color? Purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Last week (this cannot be answered in one word unless it was yesterday, which, thankfully, it was not)

I tag....oh everybody.

My Husband, the Genius.

Good news today! Ammon PASSED his 2nd Actuary Exam!!!!!!!!! HURRAH!!!!!!!!!!!